I hate Saint Valentine’s Day. Not for the reason you think though. The story of Saint Valentine is actually quite impressive. To quote Wikipedia
“The first representation of Saint Valentine appeared in the Nuremberg Chronicle, (1493); alongside the woodcut portrait of Valentine the text states that he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II, known as Claudius Gothicus. He was arrested and imprisoned upon being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. Helping Christians at this time was considered a crime. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner — until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor — whereupon this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that didn’t finish him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. Various dates are given for the martyrdom or martyrdoms: 269, 270, or 273.”
So Valentine was a marriage activist? Now that’s a saint I can get behind (and on). So what happened? Somewhere along the line, this marriage radical became co-opted as a symbol of trashy heterosexual sentimentality and the rose and chocolate industry. Fuck that. I’m over tired sentimentality. I want to celebrate love that is radical, anti-authoritarian and unbeliavabley hot.
Love is… not being a sad sack of shit for the rest of your life, it’s a riot and a celebration and it’s like standing in the face of storm not caring if you get wet. If it’s not, you’ve settled. So this Valentine’s Day, take a leaf out of the old saint’s book and do something different and radical. Do something to proclaim your love that will upset people; because some people need to be reminded that it’s not their relationship, it’s yours.
After that, treat yourself (and your special friend!) to some uber hot Tom of Finland style sexcapades. God knows you’ve earnt it.